Jesus looks cute on you.

This morning, a cashier asked me about my had which has the "Jesus Saves" logo on it. (My brother works at the mission.) When I explained the logo to her, she said, "That looks cute on you." 

My heart began to ponder what she said. Am I "wearing" Jesus in my life in my actions, reactions, love of others, and speech? Am I His ambassador? Am I allowing Him to shine through me? 

It gave me pause to think about how I can wear Jesus each day. Philippians 2 is a great start. The greatest privilege we have is to live Christ. May they see Him and not me! :)

The Gift of Chronic Illness

As I listened to this broadcast, I could but think again that God has given those of us with chronic illnesses the gift of illness to have time out to pray. 

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/radio/revive-our-hearts/heartbeat-prayer/

I would love to hear what you think and how God is working in your life through His gift.

Murmurings and Disputings

As all with chronic conditions know, it can be very difficult to submit to God's will and plan for not just our lives as a whole, but for daily disappointments. Plans are subject to change without notice due to flares. Seemingly simple daily tasks can sap all the energy we have. Serving God may seem impossible as we cannot serve in the typical ways. Yet, God has a plan!

How will we respond to the disappointment and pain? Disappointment is not a sin; our response to disappointment can be. Recent weeks have placed me in the trenches of this battle. It is a daily, no, moment by moment choice to rejoice instead of complain.

The ladies Bible study that meets in my home has been studying Philippians over the past many months using Carrie Gaul's study of Joy in the Midst. What a blessing it has been! (Side note: She recently taught several lessons on suffering on Revive Our Hearts which are an incredible encouragement.) 

Currently, we are studying Philippians 2:14-15. These verses give instruction not to murmur or dispute. Why? to shine as lights in the world. Do you realize that our response to suffering can shine God's light through us in a dark world of hurting people? Had you ever considered that a joyful response to chronic illness may be God's mission field for you? As a young person, I longed to be a missionary for Him someday and was willing to go anywhere for Him. Will I also be willing to go to weakness for Him? 

v. 16 shows how we receive the strength for this joy and gratitude - through His Word. (Also see Psalm 107:20.) What a motivation not to complain and dispute with God over His plan for our life today!

How can we be content in weakness? Philippians 4:10-14 shows that we can be content through Jesus Christ. We often use the verse "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" as a catchall verse. Yet, in context, it is about being content. Being content is a choice, but can only be done in Christ's strength. 

Throughout Philippians, Paul continually praises God even for His chains simply because Christ is being preached. What if we changed our perspective from temporary pain and disappointment to seeing that God may have called us to this pain to shine His light in places where we couldn't otherwise. He uses weakness. Is that not amazing and something to rejoice? 

It really comes down to a trust issue. Will we trust that God knows best and has a purpose for each thing that comes our way? Will we trust that He can be glorified in our life of weakness and disappointment? Will we actively seek to love and glorify Him through whatever He brings?

The choice must be made daily. What will you choose today?

For Such A Time As This

The phrase of Esther 4:14, "... for such a time as this..." kept running through my mind and heart the past couple weeks. It seemed as if my heart was overwhelmed by all the need that I saw around me - broken people, needy people, and people in bondage. 

"...come to the kingdom for such a time as this..." Lord, what do you mean? What are you trying to tell me? 

The need continued. Requests for help came from our pastor; yet, I had to decline due to my own physical weakness at the moment. 

"...for such a time as this..."

My heart bled wanting to do more for the need, but quite frankly, simply getting through work daily is taking all my energy. We are on overtime for weeks, long days, and weekends. I felt helpless as I battle the treatment effects, poor breathing, stumbling, falling, fatigue and insomnia which will last for months. What could I do? Yet, my heart was aching at a time when I am too weak to do much at all, when every day is a struggle simply to do basic responsibilities, when I myself have had to ask for help. In desperation, I continued to wonder what God was trying to tell me and asked for His wisdom.

"...for such a time as this..."

Then, it hit me. God has called me to this "kingdom" of struggle, pain, and weakness to pray fervently. God works through prayer. God took Esther away from her family to a strange place. Her kingdom meant saying no to her own desires and giving her life for God's will. In different ways, my weakness is putting me in the same place - a place of isolation, loneliness, exhaustion, and pain. 

Quite frankly, I cannot do this. Isn't that cool! I am being forced to rely on God's strength, companionship, and power. I am being given a rare gift of time to spend with Him, study His Word, and time to pray (by the time I am home from work I am too worn out to do anything, yet can't sleep).

It hit me that he has called me to this prolonged season or weakness, this kingdom, to grow, learn, and pray. 

"...for such a time as this..." How often have I wanted more time to pray? He is providing that time. 

Yes, this kingdom is difficult, yet God uses affliction to draw us to Himself and purify us. This kingdom is also a calling, a blessing.

What is your kingdom? What has God brought you to "...for such a time as this..."?

Embrace or Escape?

A friend shared this quote with me yesterday. It sums up what God has been teaching me in recent days.

"It doesn't matter, really, how great the pressure is; it only matters where the pressure lies.  See that it never comes between you and the Lord -- then, the greater the pressure, the more it presses you to His breast."  Hudson Taylor

Recently, my health has been my prolonged trial as wave after wave of chronic illness flare have come, hindering what I want to do, making every task exhausting, and making me more prone to discouragement. Will I allow this trial to push me closer to Christ (embracing it) instead of allowing it to push me away (escaping what God plans to do)? 

Driving away from a doctor's appointment where I learned another round of required treatment would mean many months of weakness, suppressed immune system, and an endless list of nasty side effects while on prolonged overtime at work, my heart cried out to my Father as I drove home that He would help me glorify Him and walk through this graciously when I wanted to run and hide until the trial passed. I asked that He help me keep my gaze focused completely on Him during this time. He graciously has been counseling my heart in embracing this trial and trusting Him. Although I can't express His lessons in flowery words, I want to share what He has been teaching as He draws me nearer during this time.

When trials come, will I embrace them or try to escape, resenting the hardship rather than receiving the hardship as a gift from God. It is natural and easy to try to escape through novels, movies, hermitage, constant noise, and avoidance of the truth. It is easy to allow roots of bitterness to spring up in reaction to a long trial, bringing you and others around you down. 

Embracing and receiving the prolonged hardship is the more difficult and grace driven approach. But, how do we embrace the trial? Much of this comes in how we view the trial. 

• James 1:17 indicates that every good gift comes from our Father. Sometimes, those good gifts are in a very different form from what we would have chosen yet are just as precious.
• In Psalm 119:67 , we see that afflictions can be used to draw us to Himself, to keep us from going astray. Job indicates that the trials would make him come forth as gold. 
• Job declared that the Lord gave and the Lord took away, yet... blessed be the name of the Lord! He realized that God is the owner of his life and trustworthy.

So many other passages came to mind as God drew my heart to Him and realized that this time was truly a time for which to praise our precious Savior as He uses it in my life. With this proper perspective on the trial as part of God's plan, how can we walk through this graciously and live out the embracing of His will? After going to the Father, I reached out to my prayer partners asking for prayer support during the next months. These prayer partners are also faithful in calling me out if I become self-absorbed or sinful in my response to this trial. I am so blessed to have this support network! 

God has reminded me over the past few weeks that there is still a way to serve Him even in the prolonged weakness.

• He is teaching me to be a Mary worshipping at His feet instead of a Martha.
• He reminded me that He has made my body and knows my weaknesses. He will give me strength to serve in whatever way He wills. In Exodus 4, God uses what Moses has in His hand to do His service. He also reminds Moses that He made Him and knows his strength. It has seemed that God has continued to ask me, "What is that in your hand?" and "Who has made your mouth?" It made me look around at how I could serve Him where He has me right now through prayer and notes of encouragement. 
• As I struggle to feel guilty when I can't do much, He reminded me of 1 Peter 4:11. He only expects to give as He has given ability... not beyond that.  
• Paul is a wonderful example in service in trials. He was not concerned for himself, but that God would be glorified. He rejoiced in his chains. :) Jesus came to him at one point and told him to be of good cheer since he would testify of him in Rome as well. It struck me as he was going to be testifying of Jesus in Rome in chains. Yet... Jesus told him to be of good cheer. Why? because glorifying God was most important. In the same way, God uses our weakness to show His strength. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10; 1 Corinthians 1:27)

All in all, it will be a daily, moment by moment choice to embrace and be grateful for what He is doing. :) May God be glorified! :) He is all in all!