Running Quickly Toward the Enemy?

The words jumped off the page at me, "David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine." 1 Samuel 17:48 Wait... what... he ran QUICKLY... to meet the ENEMY?! I stopped. Reread the passage. Yup... that is what it said!

You have to read the passage around it, 1 Samuel 17:45-50. The enemy has been taunting the Israelites and then begins to make fun of David's youth and size when David dares to fight him. It didn't matter to David. It didn't matter that Goliath was a giant, a full-grown man. Why? 

• David was sure in His God. He was coming in God's strength and on God's behalf. 
• David knew that Goliath was not defying the Israelites, but God.
• David was confident in what God was going to do. He described it graphically.
• David knew that the victory was coming from God.
• David knew whose battle it was and who was going to win it.

And so, he ran toward the enemy. He ran to meet the enemy. He used the weapons God had provided for him. He prevailed over the enemy when others had cowered. He prevailed through God alone.

Woah. 

Selah. 

Amen.

Those with chronic illnesses, those who have to be isolated, know the battles we fight on a daily basis seem immense. Many times, the battles are those of our thoughts and feelings. Let's face it, whether you are the person with chronic illness or close to someone with a chronic illness, the battle can be fierce. Maybe your battle is not that of the mind or the grinding away of the tedium of the chronic illness. You want just one day, one hour, without the fight. Whatever your battle is, God knows.

I don't know about you, but when the battles come, I want to run away from them. Running to them seems a bit... well... crazy, honestly. But, I think that is because I tend to try to battle them on my own. Yet, the battle is the Lord's. He has already won. He gives us this power and His armor. The battle is not ours, but the Lord's. Therefore, it is not crazy to run to the battle as David did.

Wow... my heart was challenged. 

• I can be sure in My God. I can move forward in God's strength and on His behalf.
• I can know that the enemy is defying God, not me.
• I can be confident in what God is doing.
• I can know that the victory is coming from God.
• I can know whose battle it is and who is going to win.

And so, I can run toward the enemy. I can run to meet the enemy. I can use the weapons God has provided for me. I can prevail over the enemy through God alone. 

He Knows Us

Someone asked me the other day what I liked to do for fun, for a hobby. I knew they were asking from a place of caring and compassion as my allergies, immune system, and conditions provide many limitations. I hesitated before answering. Many of my typical hobbies such as reading, music, and crafting have been severely limited due to increasing allergies and decreasing mobility in joints. Hmmm... Cleaning and fighting for survival didn't seem like socially acceptable answers. Those answers also sounded depressing when my life is abundant (John 10:10) even having to be inside and isolated a majority of the time. 

My daily routine of health looks something like this: 4 AM meds and then beginning a three-hour med/snack routine from 6 AM to 6 PM; my house must be "white-gloved" and all fabric cleaned weekly although some things such as cleaning out cupboards are done every few months. All food must be made from scratch and be gluten, sugar, and dairy free, low-salt/carb and high protein; hydration and movement are vital throughout the day. Physical and occupational therapy must be accomplished. I work full time, a fact for which I am exceedingly grateful! My 12 braces and weakness hamper my speed a bit. Frequent infections sap some of the remaining strength many weeks. Remembering current limitations and allergies is a chore in itself. Whew! I know many of my chronic warrior friends can relate and have routines/limitations that are even greater than mine. 

I started thinking. Some weeks, the above tasks are cumbersome, tedious. Yet... it is becoming routine. If all of these restrictions and needs had come at once, I honestly would have quit. My thoughts turned to Exodus 13:17-22. God didn't take the Israelites on the most direct route straight out of Egypt. Why? They weren't ready and would have turned back. However, He takes us step by step. As He did with the Israelites, our gracious Father goes with us to guide and protect us even if it is not in a visible cloud and fire as He did with them. (How cool would that be, though!) He takes us on a path that is designed with our current needs and growth in mind. Psalm 103:13-14 sums it up well. As a Father, God shows us compassion and remembers our frailty. He knows where we are at and what is best for us.

Looking forward to the future, my health routine will change and grow. Yet, I have no fear. God is guiding me and walking with me. He will never leave. (Hebrews 13:5b) He knows the way that I take. (Job 23:10) As He did with the Egyptians, He will take me on a path for which He will provide. 

As Dad said many times, "Who wouldn't love a God like that?" 

Morning By Morning New Mercies I See

Have you ever woke up in the morning and thought... I can't. I can't do the same thing one more day. I can't deal with the medical calls, bills, pills, and health routines one more day. It is too much. I just want a break. Yes... I have been there. 

The pandemic has seemed to make this even more pronounced as every day seems strangely the same. It is the same routine over and over and over again. 

You know what is great? God's mercy also is the same day after day after day. It is new every morning. One of my favorite hymns then comes to mind: Great Is Thy Faithfulness and the song, New Today.

You see, His mercy is new every day. On top of that, He also has told us that His strength is made perfect in weakness. His grace is sufficient. Mercy and Grace. 

So as we struggle each day, we can rest on His Mercy and His Grace and do the next thing.

As Elizabeth Elliot reminded us, 

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DO THE NEXT THING.”
Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, do the next thing
Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all results, do the next thing.
Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, do the next thing.
– Elizabeth Elliot

The Waiting Is Important

Sonnet 19: When I consider how my light is spent
BY JOHN MILTON

When I consider how my light is spent, 

   Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide, 

   And that one Talent which is death to hide 

   Lodged with me useless, though my Soul more bent 

To serve therewith my Maker, and present 

   My true account, lest he returning chide; 

   “Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?” 

   I fondly ask. But patience, to prevent 

That murmur, soon replies, “God doth not need 

   Either man’s work or his own gifts; who best 

   Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state 

Is Kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed 

   And post o’er Land and Ocean without rest: 

   They also serve who only stand and wait.”

This poem is also called "On His Blindness." The last line strikes me. 

Many days, as someone who is chronically ill, waiting doesn't seem like serving. But, waiting in prayer is a very important part of serving. In fact, God has it as part of his purpose. He uses the waiting as part of His will for us. 

Honestly, I want to study this more, but have thought about several servants of God who had to wait and for whom God used the waiting: David, Moses, Abraham, Elijah, and Paul just to name a few. God used the waiting to train them, to mold them. God is in the waiting! 

Opportunity Knocks

 Sometimes, when the days of isolation and chronic illness get long, I forget that these days are an opportunity. I am sure some of you who also suffer chronic illnesses can relate. 

Actually, these days are opportunities. Oh, that I would actually remember this when those days get hard. Opportunity? Really? That is what I want to say on the long days, the hard days. 

Yes, opportunity. 

Opportunity to offer the sacrifice of praise. 

Opportunity to showcase His strength for mine is small.

Opportunity to simply be with Him as we can do little else.

Opportunity to love God and love people. 

Opportunity to exercise and strengthen our faith that God is in control and knows best.

Opportunity to take needs to our Savior as an intercessor.

Each of these opportunities could be a complete post, rich and deep. 

God has been working in my life and heart recently to simply ... be, to use the opportunities that He provides to simply love Him and love those around me, whatever that means. As I sit at His feet and talk with Him, I will see these opportunities more clearly through His eyes. I think God has given us, the chronically ill who are more isolated now than ever, this opportunity. So many are hurting right now. There is so much need right now. 

Will I simply be with Him to see the opportunities in the suffering? It is a new and fresh perspective in the long days! :) 

What If? What Now?

"It will get better." 

"This is only temporary."

"Hold on... better days ahead."

"Be thankful it isn't any worse." 

These are things that people have said when trying to encourage through a chronic illness flare. They mean well. In fact, I am sure these words have come out of my own mouth. But... what if... what if things aren't going to get better, but will in fact get worse. What if they will be this way for the remainder of the time on earth. (We know they will get better in Heaven and are temporary in that manner.) Are you in a situation in which you are asking ... What if... what if this goes on and on? 

As someone who was disabled for life at a very young age, fighting and overcoming became as much a part of life as breathing. Oh... it didn't always come naturally, especially on "those" days: pain days, migraine days, hard days. Yet, my parents would never let me give up, but encouraged me to keep fighting and overcome. Dad would build things that would help adapt. Mom alternately listened and prodded, always gentle. Both forbade the word "can't." It wasn't allowed.

As more health challenges arose, we overcame. One challenge at a time, one day at a time, you moved forward. Quitting was NEVER an option. You simply found ways to overcome, relying heavily on God for wisdom and strength. It was what you did. An overabundance of snow, get to work on time anyway, carefully using crutches or walker through the snow. Unable to wash dishes and do kitchen chores standing up, find a way to work around it. Chores still had to be done. In pain, be kind anyway. Awake to the hard days, assess, do what you need to overcome, smile, and conquer the day. It was what one did.

This past year, there have been challenges that cannot be overcome in the regular ways. It soon became clear that no matter what adjustments were made, there were things that were no longer possible to do. Oh... adaptions were made and independence kept as much as possible, but some things were simply no longer possible. Hope that it was temporary prevailed as one doctor's appointment after another came and went. 

Slowly, reality took over. Some of the limitations are indeed permanent. There are many unknowns of how much mobility and freedom will be restored. Weakness, pain, and isolation are daily battles. I came face to face with the question... What if... what if this is permanent. What if... what if the medical staff are right and the limitations will continue to progress. 

During this time, God allowed a childhood friend, also disabled as a child, to cross paths. He is going through the same things. Neither of us had anticipated the wear and tear that would come to our bodies from the years of disabilities and using joints in ways in which they were not meant to be used. (Walking on our hands...) Both of us have struggled as all our efforts to overcome are simply not enough. We have had to face these questions... What if? What now?

And so, I began to contemplate the "What If." What is truth in the "What if?" And, if so, "What now?"

• Romans 8:28 - God is working all things for good.
• Job 23:10 - God knows what has happened. He will use it in my life.
  
• Philippians 4:11-13 - I can learn to be content through Christ's strength. 
• Isaiah 40:28-31 - God gives strength. 
• Philippians 4:8 - Focusing on wholesome things is imperative to keep my mind clear. 
  
• Job 13:15 - I will praise Him.
  
• Psalm 42:5 - I will praise Him.
• Habakkuk 3:17-19 - No matter what... I will praise Him.
• Luke 10:27 - Love God with your all; love people.

What if? What now? Trust Him. Love Him. Love People. Praise Him. Trust Him. Obey. Keep striving for Him. 

It began to be clear. God has called me to the What if? to the What now? He has a purpose. I can still love Him, praise Him, and trust Him. He is still good. He is still God. 

His light began to shine through. Philippians 3:7-21 came to mind. Am I willing to give up my "right" to good health and use weakness to His honor? Am I willing to become weak that He may be strong? 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 His strength can shine through weakness. Am I willing to allow Him to work through this?

Last year, my song of the year was "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus." How appropriate that song became as the year went on. This year, God has impressed me with "Trust and Obey."

What if? Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. What now? Trust and Obey.