I stood in the hallway alone and isolated although surrounded by people. As people neared me, they crossed to the other side of the hallway and passed by (and I'm not even a Samaritan). I smiled as others approached me, but they ignored my smile and hurried on their way. The surgical mask I had to wear to protect a fragile immune system was hot and stuffy, but that discomfort was nothing compared to the isolation and loneliness I felt. Why couldn't people see behind my mask? Why couldn't they see my smile? I felt like a leper, unclean. Had I not been convinced that God wanted me at the conference through His amazing provision and prodding, I would have given up and left. It was God's grace that overcame my introversion and kept me from leaving.
Finally, a few brave people began to talk to me. They immediately asked one question, "Are you contagious?" Their question struck me as I realized they had been avoiding me out of fear. Having a strange sense of humor, I began to introduce myself by saying, "Hi, I'm Myrical, and I'm not contagious." Some chuckled at this introduction. (I should have written on the mask, "It's not me, it's you.") I laughed with them and soon was being included. I praised God for the breakthrough and His mercy to me.
As I began to think about it later, my mind went back to a different kind of mask that had isolated me from others. It was just four months earlier that my Dad was in his final hours. The emotional mask and smile I pasted on hid the pain we were going through. My family had been through seven months of one crisis following another and were completely worn out. It seemed easier to simply paste on a smile than to let people know of the pain and exhaustion. I hid behind that mask.
These experiences caused me to think about other masks that I pass every day. How many around me are hiding behind masks - both obvious and hidden? There are two videos on youtube which demonstrate the masks of those around us (here and here).
How should I respond? I turned to our greatest example. I was reminded of Jesus' reaction to the leper in Luke 5:12-13. Jesus touched him. "12 While he was in one of the cities, there came a man full of leprosy.[a]And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” 13 And Jesus[b] stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him." Jesus commands us to love others as He loves us. (John 15:12-13) Our love for others will show the world that we love God. (John 13:34-35)
May my experience behind the masks help me see past masks and love as Christ did!
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Sunday, July 24, 2016
...And God Was There
January 7, 2016. 10:45 AM - Dad called to tell me he was diagnosed with terminal cancer that has quickly spread through his body.
Four months and a lifetime later...
May 23, 2016, 10:38 AM Dad passes into the arms of our loving Savior.
Many times during those four months, we thought it was our darkest hour yet God was there. We found that what seemed like the darkest hours were only grey hours and that life could and did get more difficult and challenging. God's Word, hymns, and the comfort of His Spirit became precious. God was there in the "darkest" hour and the progressively darker hours.
Psalm 23
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
It seems that I remember that journey in snapshots:
43 But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. 2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. 3 For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee.
God's presence meant that while cancer was ugly, this dark journey became beautiful in His light as His presence upheld us. Christ's love sustained us as we were having to make difficult decisions at our most stressed time. His love allowed us to love each other and show grace at a time when we could easily have become very angry with each other.
God's presence as we walked this journey. The Holy Spirit ministered to us through the Word and songs that came to mind. He is precious.
Four months and a lifetime later...
May 23, 2016, 10:38 AM Dad passes into the arms of our loving Savior.
Many times during those four months, we thought it was our darkest hour yet God was there. We found that what seemed like the darkest hours were only grey hours and that life could and did get more difficult and challenging. God's Word, hymns, and the comfort of His Spirit became precious. God was there in the "darkest" hour and the progressively darker hours.
Psalm 23
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
It seems that I remember that journey in snapshots:
- receiving Dad's call that he would be seeing Jesus soon. His call collided with my work day. My world was rocked while the ordinary went on around me... and God was there.
- walking beside dad in a hall as he struggled to walk with a walker and remembering the years he had walked with me when I was the one on a walker or in a wheelchair. It was a precious, painful sight... and God was there.
- singing and playing piano with Dad for the last time. I must admit it took awhile after he graduated to Heaven to play again. And God came down and touched us while we played and sang. :)
- observing the grief and anguish of my family, hurting with and for them. And God was there.
- living through the hardest ten days of my life to date about two months after Dad was diagnosed. So many needs, so little sleep, so much pain... And God was there.
- progressing through the "lasts" and striving to love well. And God was there.
- learning how to caregive with grace when we were literally falling asleep standing up as well as asking forgiveness of those we loved dearest when we failed. And God was there.
- transitioning to hospice and all the pain, laughter and tears of those final days. And God was there.
- listening for every breath during the last three and a half days (a lifetime as we entered the time warp) he was home, during my last night watch, during that last morning as he met his Savior face to face. And God was there.
- experiencing for ourselves the incredible stress of losing a loved one. And God was there.
- journeying through the next weeks of numbness and healing. And God was there.
- and, finally, experiencing the firsts as we approach the holidays. And God is here.
43 But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. 2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. 3 For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee.
God's presence meant that while cancer was ugly, this dark journey became beautiful in His light as His presence upheld us. Christ's love sustained us as we were having to make difficult decisions at our most stressed time. His love allowed us to love each other and show grace at a time when we could easily have become very angry with each other.
God's presence as we walked this journey. The Holy Spirit ministered to us through the Word and songs that came to mind. He is precious.
God's provision meant that I enjoyed my peanut butter manna (gluten free peanut butter sandwiches which were my main sustenance due to diet restrictions) and we enjoyed the treats people brought. We became increasingly grateful for things which we would normally take for granted, things like vegetables, fruit, and a hot meal.
God's family were amazing during this time as people rallied around us through prayer, letting us crash at their house, preparing meals, bringing vegetables, so many ways. They were literally His hands and feet to us through this difficult time.
God's timing was perfect. Early on my cousin who had lost her father a few years earlier told me that we would look back later and see His hand in all of this. She was right. We did see how what we saw as disasters at the time were actually part of His timing.
God's love, mercy, and grace have become so much more precious. It is true that the last eighteen months or so have been some of the hardest we have ever journeyed. We can be thankful for this time, however, as it has allowed us to experience God in more meaningful ways.
Now, I pray that as we have been comforted through it, we may go out and comfort others.
2 Corinthians 1:4English Standard Version (ESV)
4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
God's family were amazing during this time as people rallied around us through prayer, letting us crash at their house, preparing meals, bringing vegetables, so many ways. They were literally His hands and feet to us through this difficult time.
God's timing was perfect. Early on my cousin who had lost her father a few years earlier told me that we would look back later and see His hand in all of this. She was right. We did see how what we saw as disasters at the time were actually part of His timing.
God's love, mercy, and grace have become so much more precious. It is true that the last eighteen months or so have been some of the hardest we have ever journeyed. We can be thankful for this time, however, as it has allowed us to experience God in more meaningful ways.
Now, I pray that as we have been comforted through it, we may go out and comfort others.
2 Corinthians 1:4English Standard Version (ESV)
4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
One Year
It has been said that a lot can happen in a day. This statement is true. Each day, God's mercy is new. Great is His faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:19-26
"19 Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.22 It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.
As far as I can remember, I have never had a year with so many changes and challenges. One year ago today I began treatment for a previously un-diagnosed condition. My life changed dramatically as my health improved. It was overwhelming to learn to manage the condition and the improvement in my health as well as new limits. (Who knew I wasn't superwoman even though much healed?)
22 It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
At the time, I never dreamed what would come. God knew. His faithfulness was there. His mercy new every morning! His timing is perfect. (Psalm 18:30) So many lessons were to come. It became a year of caregiving various family members including a family member with cancer who later passed away. It was my privilege to serve my family. My heart is full of gratitude that God gave me strength prior to the need. (Philippians 4:19) In the coming weeks, I hope to share some of the lessons that God taught me as we came through these trials.
24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.
The Lord is my portion through all of this. He is my hope.
Romans 5:1-5,
5 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
The Wilderness
A children's chorus says:
"My Lord knows the way through the wilderness,
All I have to do is follow.
My Lord knows the way through the wilderness,
All I have to do is follow.
Strength for today is mine all the way,
And all that I need for tomorrow.
My Lord knows the way through,
All I have to do is follow."
I was unable to find the author/composer, but found this recording which sounds a lot like a record I played as a child. The words keep reverberating through my heart as I do not know the way through my wilderness. I don't need to. I simply follow and trust that He will give strength and provision.
This morning, I was reading in Numbers 33. Yes, Numbers. This chapter goes over the stages or seasons of the Israelites journey out of Egypt. It struck me today as they journeyed from place to place how WEARY they must be of moving, of always pulling up their tent pegs, of the dust, and of the mundaneness of it all. I thought about how it most likely wasn't their idea of what God was going to do to release them from slavery or how He was going to do it. They were told they were going to the Promised Land. They had everything they needed. God was growing them through this. And yet... it was... HARD.
Some of you know that my family is going through a wilderness right now as we journey with a close family member through the wilderness of terminal cancer. Our wilderness is hard. Our wilderness is long. Our hearts are breaking. The days seem weary and yet He cares. He is working through our wilderness! He will use this wilderness to draw us closer to Himself and to help us grow. Then, we will see the Promised Land someday!
My Lord knows the way through the wilderness. All I have to do is follow. Strength for today is mine all the way, and all that I need for tomorrow. My Lord knows the way!
"My Lord knows the way through the wilderness,
All I have to do is follow.
My Lord knows the way through the wilderness,
All I have to do is follow.
Strength for today is mine all the way,
And all that I need for tomorrow.
My Lord knows the way through,
All I have to do is follow."
I was unable to find the author/composer, but found this recording which sounds a lot like a record I played as a child. The words keep reverberating through my heart as I do not know the way through my wilderness. I don't need to. I simply follow and trust that He will give strength and provision.
This morning, I was reading in Numbers 33. Yes, Numbers. This chapter goes over the stages or seasons of the Israelites journey out of Egypt. It struck me today as they journeyed from place to place how WEARY they must be of moving, of always pulling up their tent pegs, of the dust, and of the mundaneness of it all. I thought about how it most likely wasn't their idea of what God was going to do to release them from slavery or how He was going to do it. They were told they were going to the Promised Land. They had everything they needed. God was growing them through this. And yet... it was... HARD.
Some of you know that my family is going through a wilderness right now as we journey with a close family member through the wilderness of terminal cancer. Our wilderness is hard. Our wilderness is long. Our hearts are breaking. The days seem weary and yet He cares. He is working through our wilderness! He will use this wilderness to draw us closer to Himself and to help us grow. Then, we will see the Promised Land someday!
My Lord knows the way through the wilderness. All I have to do is follow. Strength for today is mine all the way, and all that I need for tomorrow. My Lord knows the way!
Monday, December 21, 2015
Christmas Letter 2015
Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!
2015 was incredibly challenging and blessed!
In the spring, my siblings and I (along with many friends) helped my parents move to a senior apartment. We are so grateful that they moved when they did as current health challenges would have made it much more difficult for them to take care of a house now. They are settling in and enjoying serving God where He has planted them. Dad continues to do pulpit supply while Mom serves and encourages all those around her. As we enter this new season of life, we are so thankful for God’s promises and the amazing family God has given us!
The beginning of the year, my health continued to weaken and decline. Doctors searched and searched for a cause to no avail. Through this difficult time of struggling every day to simply work, walk, prevent falls, do daily tasks and live, God remained faithful and gracious and strong. God taught me so many lessons; one of which is that His strength is made perfect in weakness. I began to wonder how long I would be able to continue to work.
And then, God stepped into my pain in a completely unexpected way. As I went to a routine checkup, I begged Him for wisdom in how to handle the health decline. That day, the doctor spent a long time with me working to determine the cause and decided to try a treatment for another condition although tests were inconclusive. Within a week of beginning treatment, I walked 2 miles without crutches or my walker and without falling, work AND do daily life tasks and move.
The new condition requires careful management and life-long treatment, but God answered my prayer exceedingly abundantly above all that I could ask or think. (For those who know me, I did learn that while it improved my strength level exponentially, it does not make me super-woman... Sigh... who knew that one person can't do everything. :) ) Learning to live again and maintain the condition has been overwhelming at times, but God is faithful through those challenges!
The new condition requires careful management and life-long treatment, but God answered my prayer exceedingly abundantly above all that I could ask or think. (For those who know me, I did learn that while it improved my strength level exponentially, it does not make me super-woman... Sigh... who knew that one person can't do everything. :) ) Learning to live again and maintain the condition has been overwhelming at times, but God is faithful through those challenges!
I continue to enjoy spending time with nieces and nephews, teaching piano, tutoring, and generally serving as God leads. It is incredible to have the time to do these things in addition to working. My heart’s desire is to use the new-found gift of strength for our precious Savior.
As I walked this journey, God brought people along who have and are walking it alongside me. What an amazing God we have. He provides for all our needs and draws us close to Himself! I saw first hand the abundant life that God can give - both in the good times and the bad! :) God is the Giver of Life!
In Christ,
Myrical Joy
John 10:10, “10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Ambassadors in Suffering
Sometimes, suffering feels like chains no matter the type of suffering it is.
I was reading The Battle Plan by Stephen and Alex Kendrick this week. One paragraph really hit me as it was talking about Paul's ministry and prayer from prison (Ephesians 6:19-20). The book said, "To be locked up hand and foot, yet be bold enough to consider yourself free and ready to engage in whatever God has in store... that's NOT how normal people think. Unless we're people of prayer." It made me think of how sometimes the fibromyalgia/chronic illnesses "lock us up," but we can be bold enough to be free and ready to engage in God's plan! :)
Another great resource which truly shows how to glorify Him and see His purpose in our suffering is Fibromyalgia: God's Grace for Chronic Pain Sufferers. The very suffering we endure is used greatly of God.
God will help us be ambassadors in suffering for Him. We can glorify Him!
I was reading The Battle Plan by Stephen and Alex Kendrick this week. One paragraph really hit me as it was talking about Paul's ministry and prayer from prison (Ephesians 6:19-20). The book said, "To be locked up hand and foot, yet be bold enough to consider yourself free and ready to engage in whatever God has in store... that's NOT how normal people think. Unless we're people of prayer." It made me think of how sometimes the fibromyalgia/chronic illnesses "lock us up," but we can be bold enough to be free and ready to engage in God's plan! :)
Another great resource which truly shows how to glorify Him and see His purpose in our suffering is Fibromyalgia: God's Grace for Chronic Pain Sufferers. The very suffering we endure is used greatly of God.
God will help us be ambassadors in suffering for Him. We can glorify Him!
Friday, October 9, 2015
A Heart Smile! :)
Sometimes, verses just make my heart say, "Wow" and smile! smile emoticonZephaniah 3:17 is one of those verses, a verse I needed to be reminded of this morning! smile emoticon :
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing."
So many thoughts...
He, the God and creator of the universe, is here.
He is mighty to save, and He did,does,will.
He rejoices over me (seriously, over me!?!?) with gladness.
He quiets me by His love (so important right now in the midst of long, challenging, exhausting days).
He quiets my heart!).
He exults over me (me?!) with loud singing. smile emoticon This one made me chuckle. When my heart overflows with joy and praise for HIM, my singing tends to ... ahem... get loud. To think that He exults over His creation in the same way...
I am loved! smile emoticon Selah! smile emoticon
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing."
So many thoughts...
He, the God and creator of the universe, is here.
He is mighty to save, and He did,does,will.
He rejoices over me (seriously, over me!?!?) with gladness.
He quiets me by His love (so important right now in the midst of long, challenging, exhausting days).
He quiets my heart!).
He exults over me (me?!) with loud singing. smile emoticon This one made me chuckle. When my heart overflows with joy and praise for HIM, my singing tends to ... ahem... get loud. To think that He exults over His creation in the same way...
I am loved! smile emoticon Selah! smile emoticon
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