Isolation Side Effect: Strength

Strength as a side effect of isolation and weakness, really? Seriously?

This week, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 stood out in a new way to me.  

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Those of us with chronic illness or isolated for whatever reason often deal with daily weakness as well. Paul boasted in his weakness. Why? So the power of Christ would rest on him. 

He goes on to say that he is content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. Another version says that he takes pleasure in them. Stop. Read those paragraphs again. He is content or takes pleasure in all of these difficult things of life. 

I must admit that I do not enjoy weakness and the other things they mentioned. What a new perspective this gives as I go through each day. My weakness - Christ's strength. 

So, another side effect of isolation is strength. Christ's power residing in us. Selah.

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

 

Isolation Side Effect: OVERWHELMED

Overwhelmed. Completely overwhelmed. When you are chronically ill or isolated, what would be little things to others can be overwhelming to you. 

It is very, very easy to become overwhelmed. Some may have heard of the spoon metaphor. It is fairly accurate. We simply don't have as many spoons as others do to complete daily tasks. Let me give you a glimpse into that that means:

• Allowing four hours of the morning to get ready for the day. Repeat at night. 
• Taking two to three times that of a "normal" person to complete every single task throughout the day. Two examples from my own life at my worst point: taking five minutes to walk from one side of the house to the other and having 7 injured joints at one time.
• Knowing that just simple household chores for survival taking all your strength for the day.
• Having to plan out errands so as not to sap your strength or to have enough strength left to put groceries away. (For me, I have to take meds and nutrient-dense snacks every three hours through the entire day. It doesn't sound like much until you realize you have to do this every day no matter what else is going on.)
• Deciding what tasks will cause the least issues if skipped.
• Making food while struggling to use your hands or keep your balance. (Part of this is also deciding what convenience foods which cost more are worth the additional cost.
• Purchasing duplicates of items for various rooms since you cannot carry items from room to room.
• Learning how to ask for help while working hard to do all you can.
• Needing to plan ahead in detail for any activity.
• Calculating the cost of every item or small task to verify resources.
• Declining invitations you would love to accept because doing them will mean not being able to do regular tasks.
• And, the hardest one of all, understanding that people do not understand. I have heard more than one person with chronic illness or who is shut in say, "People just don't understand." No, they don't. It isn't because they don't want to, but that they can't. They can't understand how a simple activity can drain you. (The flip side is that I sometimes find myself thinking, "You can do all of that in one day? Wow... ") It is very easy to feel misunderstood or invisible when you are struggling daily to simply survive. 

The next day, you do it all again, over and over again, day in and day out. The reality of the overwhelming reality of living with the chronic illness means that we can get very frustrated and shut down easily. 

For those living it, I wish I had more answers or an easy solution. Sadly, I don't. It is also not just "throwing Bible verses" at the problem. Here are some little things that have helped me, both practically and emotionally/mentally/spiritually:

• Break tasks into smaller parts.
• If possible, don't let things pile up. 
• Do a little bit at a time. If you can only do five minutes of something, do five minutes.
• Put things away as you go, do dishes in small batches, do smaller loads of laundry.
• Watch your fatigue and catch it before it gets too bad. Catch everything early on if you can. 
• Lean into God. Call out to Him and share the feelings, the hard, and what you need.
• Focus on who God is and what He has done. These verses may help when you are overwhelmed:
• Psalm 61:1-8
• 1 John 4:4
• Matthew 19:26
• Psalm 46:10
• Matthew 11:28
• Jeremiah 31:25
• Psalm 94:22
• John 14:27
• Isaiah 26:3
• Psalm 55:22
• Philippians 4:6-7
• Pslam 50:15
• Ephesians 6:10
• 1 Corinthians 16:13
• Romans 8:37-38
• Psalm 136:1-2

For churches and friends reaching out, there is much you can do to help:

• Understand that they may react differently as they are overwhelmed.
• Listen, truly listen to needs and concerns. Sometimes, this will help more than anything else.
• Offer to help regularly with household chores, grocery trips, whatever may help in a specific situation. Give suggestions of ways you can help rather than simply saying, "Let me know if you need anything."
• Build relationship and connection in order to come alongside. 
• Continue to invite them to activities even if they have to decline often. Offer to help with daily tasks so that they can participate.
• Realize that sometimes they may be able to do a task while other days they cannot.
• Contact them with encouragement.

Life as an isolated/chronically ill person can be very overwhelming. What are some things that either you have found that have helped or that people have done for you that have been a help? We would love to hear!

Isolation Side Effect: Disappointment

Circumstances will be different for each of us in isolation depending on our illnesses and needs, but something we all face is disappointment.

If you know me personally, you know that I am a planner. My brain thinks in details and plans everything out. While I love spontaneity occasionally, I thrive in consistency day to day. Dependability is important to me, both in myself and others. With a chronic illness, dependability isn't possible. For me, even the best laid plans can be set aside, last minute due to someone having even a small sign of illness, non-lung-friendly weather, or just waking up to find out it is a chronic illness day. It doesn't matter if it is some fun activity planned with family or a ministry I wanted to participate in. Disappointment. Over and over again. Other people take these things for granted. We cannot.

Yet, chronic illness teaches you that in a new way and not only through changed plans. There is also the disappointment in others. Yes, I said that. It is easy to be disappointed in them when:

• they don't seem to understand what you are going through.
• they have to cancel on promised help at the last minute. 
• they are distracted.
• they forget about you when you are going through a hard time.
• they seem to have it all when you fight for every bit you have whether materially, physically, emotionally or whatever.

The list goes on. And, may I dare say, sometimes we are disappointed in God. Why? 

• Why doesn't He end this?
• Why doesn't He help?
• Why doesn't He hear my pleas?
• Why isn't He answering?

These times are hard. That is an understatement. How do we handle this? There are no easy answers. I must admit that I still struggle in this way. I have found that if I don't quickly handle isolation, my thoughts can take over and bitterness can quickly set in.

Here are some verses that can help shift our focus from the disappointment back to God. Please know that they are not given "glibly" or as an "easy fix." I still struggle and have to fight through these things often. Here are some Scriptures that have helped me in these times:

• Proverbs 16:9 
• Philippians 4
  
• Isaiah 55 Great promises and reminders!
  
• Hebrews 12:15
  
• Hebrews 13:15
  

I hope these will be a help. There are so many others that remind me that God is in control in control, that His thoughts are higher than mine, that I must look to God instead of people, and that I have to learn to be content. Disappointment of all forms is hard. We cannot fight it on our own, but need His help. 

What are some of the things you have done to remind you of His promises during disappointment? Churches, how can you reach out to assist isolated people with disappointment? We would love to hear your thoughts. Please share in the comments below.

Isolation: Why?

I mentioned in a previous post that the last few years have brought isolation. I won't lie. Many times, I have asked God, "Why? What are you trying to teach me and do through this?" It was a hard journey to walk.

When feeling good, I love road trips, hikes in the woods, and being active! My niece says I am like a tom-boy with one very profound exception... my love for the color pink. I also tend to be more of a Martha than a Mary. We were taught from a very young age to serve God and others both in word and example as my parents served in various churches. We learned that God made us for connection and fellowship. Isolation made my life come to a screeching halt, it seemed.

So, why would God set me aside and allow me and so many others to be isolated? 

What if we thought of the isolation as a medication? There are both good outcomes and side effects from medication. In the coming weeks, I would like to share some lessons and "side effects" that I have seen in my own isolation and that of my dear friends. My prayer is that these will encourage your hearts as well as help you understand how to reach out to others who may be isolated. 

• Isolation Side Effects
• Identity Crisis, Updated
• Disappointment
  
• Being Overwhelmed
  
• Strength
• A Mighty Warrior

We will be adding more topics regularly. 

Through this time of learning, I am burdened for those who are still isolated for whatever reason. If you or someone you know would love to connect for times of prayer, Bible study, and fellowship via the internet, please reach out. We are starting a new facebook group called "Home Connection. Connecting to Christ. Connecting in Christ." Right now, as we are in the start-up phase, it is a closed group, but I am happy to welcome those who reach out. I am hoping it is will be like a small group would be for those who are able to attend church with the unique perspective of understanding the challenges of isolation, chronic illness, disability, and caregiving.

Isolation Side Effect: Identity Crisis

It happened again this week to me. In contacting a medical office, I was treated as a non-person, less than human. I would love to say that this doesn't happen often, but that wouldn't be true. Thankfully, it turned out they were just having a bad day as follow-up contact with that office was much better. Two others have shared similar experiences in the past couple weeks. 

These interactions can leave us feeling less than human. To begin looking at isolation side effects, I want to share something that has probably been the biggest thing I have seen in both myself and others in the isolation no matter the cause of the isolation. Identity. By identity, I mean who we are and what defines us.

So often, we are treated as less than human as I mentioned above. By reason of our isolation and illness, we are typically on the outside looking in. We can't participate in activities or struggle to make ends meet. 

It is easy for those around us to see only our disability or struggles and not to see us as people. We can be treated as less-than, forgotten, and looked over. Our needs are not understood. Other times, people will forget that we have likes and dislikes, needs, opinions, etc. just like "normal" people even though we are isolated.

In turn, we can begin to think of ourselves as less than and unworthy. In my kitchen, you will see this painting. I worked on it over the winter because I need constant a constant reminder of who I am. 

Let me remind you of who and what you are, completely separate from whatever challenges you face:

• You are loved. Jeremiah 31:3; John 3:16
• You are created with purpose. Psalm 139:14-16
• You are (or can be) a child of God. If you have any questions about this, please contact me!
• You are unique, special, lovely, precious, strong, and chosen. (See verses in painting above.)
• You have worth not because of anything you have or are, but because God loves you. There are many verses in the Bible that show this. I listened to this song on repeat during some of the hardest days. 
• Your identity is in Christ. This movie scene sums it up well. (Please ignore the ads at the beginning.) Ephesians is an amazing book to study in relation to our identity.

The next time someone sees you as "less than" or the enemy makes you think you are not enough, please remember this. You have worth. You are loved! Also, practice 1 Corinthians 13, giving people the benefit of the doubt. 

And, dear church friends, we can go a long way in helping isolated people feel their worth by speaking directly to them, listening, and including them any way that it is feasible. They would love to be able to help with anything they can and pray for church needs. Let them see that they are a valuable part of your church. Treat them as the precious person they are, seeing them instead of their disease. You can make a difference!

Home Connection: Connecting to Christ. Connecting in Christ.

 A couple weeks ago, I wrote a post about freedom and isolation. The response to this post showed me the great need for connection among isolated believers whether it is from personal or family health issues, age, or a remote location. 

God has been working on my heart about how to help these precious saints who are isolated at home. It struck me that Hebrews 10:24-25  is also for the isolated; how can we live that out when we cannot leave the house? 

In the next few weeks, by God's grace, I hope to start a group for Home Connections for the isolated. My vision is to have a place where we can pray, encourage, exhort, connect, and study God's Word together via internet on a regular basis, while also providing a place to assist churches in knowing how to reach the isolated. We will be starting with a small group and seeing where God leads.

What you can do: 

• I would appreciate your prayers for wisdom and direction, for God to be glorified, and for people to be encouraged.
• If you or someone you know is isolated and may benefit from this group, please comment below.

May God be glorified as we make Home Connections. Connecting to Christ. Connecting in Christ.

Freedom and Isolation

 Freedom... It is what I named my new vehicle which includes a scooter lift. Yesterday, I experienced some of that freedom. The new alternative treatments have allowed me to get out of the house a bit. Each week, I see a little more strength return. Slowly, carefully, I have been able to experience more of these times out of the house. I am soaking up every bit of being out before flu season, cold, ice, and snow return at which point I will be shut in and isolated once more. 

(Side Note: Disabled since age three, I have been shut in and isolated a majority of the time since September of 2019 with increased and significant health issues since October of 2018. Even now, each trip must be carefully planned and prepared for including scheduling recovery time. We have to make sure I will not be in crowds (germs) or around allergens/asthma triggers; the venue will be handicapped friendly; and all needed meds, snacks, protective equipment, and items for any possible contingency are available. Time out of the house still requires adequate recovery time.)

As my heart rejoiced with my time OUT of the house, I was reminded of those who are still stuck in with one health issue after another plaguing them. They are still experiencing the isolation and depression. What about the families of disabled kiddos who are so isolated as they fight their daily battles? It made me realize how we as Christians so often fail these precious saints. 

Yes, I remember visiting the shut-ins with cookies or cards growing up. We had their names on our prayer list growing up. These are great things to do for the shut in. I know that our churches reached out with house repairs and assistance with car repair as well as caroling at Christmas time or taking a meal at holidays. 

What I didn't understand until I walked through isolation myself is the intense loneliness, depression, and lethargy that comes when you are imprisoned in your home in poor health. "Solitary confinement" is not for the faint of heart. Every day is the same. You lack human touch and interaction. My friends, I believe we have missed the mark in caring for these precious people. They need fellowship and community while respecting their limitations and needs.

But, you say, the pandemic has brought more online resources for the shut-ins. Don't these things help? Yes, these resources are a wonderful side effect of a very bad situation. However, fellowship is missing from the livestream church service. There is a longing in our hearts for community. We need someone to laugh, cry, share, pray, and study God's Word with. 

What would God have us to do?

• James 1:27, "Pure religion and undefiled before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."
• Hebrews 13:3, "Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body."
• Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." 

Many, many other verses tell of caring for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Each one of them has different needs. We must listen, connect, and come alongside. Are there things we can do to allow them to participate in the service? Are there needs we can meet? Here are a few practical suggestions:

1. Pray and ask God to show you what to do and who to help. This is first and foremost.
2. Take a meal to them. If possible (check with them first), take the time to eat with them, cleaning up afterwards. (Be sure to check food allergies.) Or see if they are able to come to your home to share a meal. Sharing a meal is something special.
3. Schedule time regularly to reach out to them, allowing time to simply listen. Also, share with them what is happening in your life. It is good for them to be able to come alongside you as well. This Christian walk is on a two-way street.
4. See how you can help in a practical manner. Is there spring housecleaning or yard work to be done? Do they need things from the store? My family that lives close will message me when they are going to a store that does not offer curbside or delivery to see if I need anything. This is a tremendous help.
5. Send them cards. It is great to know someone cared enough to send a good old-fashioned card. Even the younger people enjoy mail!
6. Find out how they can get out of the house and schedule an activity. For instance, friends and family have taken me to see Christmas lights both around the neighborhood and a distance away to a special display. They took the time to make sure all health needs would be met on the outing.
7. Pray with them. If possible, do a Bible study together. At least for me, one of the hardest aspects of the health challenges have been missing out on the community, accountability, and closeness found in a Bible study.
8. Listen for needs you can meet. It is hard for us to ask for help. Listen for big and little needs. With medical expenses, money is always tight. There will be things they need.
9. Ask what you can do to help... not just once, but checking in periodically. 
10. Include them in holidays and family traditions.
11. Allow them to contribute whatever they can. Give them purpose. How, you say? If there is something they can do for the church from their home, include them. Share prayer requests with them regularly and updates to the needs or answered prayers. Let them know of others who may be lonely and in need. They need to serve in whatever way they can.
12. Make your church service as accommodating as possible for the handicapped, chronically ill, and caregivers. While livestream does not take the place of church, it is a tremendous help. Make the church as accessible as possible.
13. Allow for Bible studies to be attended virtually with the opportunity for two-way communication.
14. Give the caregivers a break if at all possible by providing gift cards and a night out. They would appreciate meals, housecleaning, etc. to lighten their load. The daily needs can be overwhelming. 
15. Schedule fun times for the siblings of the handicapped children. They are walking a difficult road. 
16. Be there. Be available.

And... what about those of us who are isolated and shut in? What can we do? I am reminded of the feeding of the five thousand where the boy gave his lunch, just five loaves and two fish (Matthew 14:13-21) or the widow who gave her two mites. (Mark 12:41-44) Little is much when God is in it. From our homes, we can 

1. pray about what God would have you do and for a ministry. 
2. reach out via text, phone, email, or mail to both other shut ins, missionaries, and our churches. 
3. pray with them and for them.
4. pray for our nation, for missionaries.
5. remember that those who are able-bodied also carry heavy burdens and come alongside as brothers and sisters in Christ.
6. remember that God is our ultimate provider and sufficiency. (Psalm 17:15) We must not depend on others to meet our needs.

We are a family, the body of Christ. Let us not forget those who are afflicted. God needs us. We are brought to this time for such a time as this. (Esther 4:14)

So... yesterday, I truly enjoyed my freedom. Yet that freedom reminded me of the many who do not have the opportunity. I do not want to forget the others who still are bound by disability and isolation (no matter the cause). May we use whatever is in our hand for God's service! (Exodus 4:2) Please remember these precious saints.