Where has the time gone?

This past week, my church was studying the rapture. While we did discuss the various positions of pre-, mid-, and post-tribulation, our main focus was on how the rapture should affect our daily lives. None of us knows the day or hour when Christ will return. We must be serving Him faithfully. 

There are many verses in the Bible about waking from sleep. 1 Thessalonians 5:1-11 and Romans 13:11-14 are just two examples. We are to be using time wisely as is discussed in Ephesians 5.

This made me take a closer look at the way I spend my time and that of Christians today. It seems that while we have more time-saving gadgets than ever, we do not have time. We are always busy. The suggestion of one more thing added to our schedules is overwhelming, almost anxiety producing. How can that be?

In my childhood, a majority of churches had services three times on Sunday and at least one more time during the week as well as Saturday visitation or work days and the expectation that you were in the Word and praying daily. In Acts, we read that they met daily in the house of the Lord. Now, a majority of churches do not have all of those services. Yet, many people cannot meet even in the services provided.

Please understand. I am not saying that there is something 'sacred' about having a certain number of services or even certain times for services. We as God's children are the church, not a building. You can attend and even be active in every church service/program there is and yet be far from God. You can be dutifully reading your Bible and praying daily and be far from God. What I am seeing as a pattern in how we spend our time has simply made me wonder where the time has gone.

Where has the time gone? I think it is in distractions. C.S. Lewis's Screwtape Letters has many references to distractions being a great tool of the enemy. Distractions are everywhere today. It is so easy to "quickly check" social media only to realize that an hour or more has slipped by. There is not much silence today; activities are prevalent. 

There is never a quiet moment without great intention to have quiet time. Our modern life-style leaves  little quiet for meditation, reflection, and praise. Time for Bible Study individually, serving others, loving others, and praying is limited and pushed aside. Having so much media coming at us all the time in short clips means that our concentration and focus are affected. (Please know that I am speaking to myself as well.)

I heard a pastor say that he hoped that the young people today would get bored enough to long for God's Word and study it. There is too much that "glitters" and pulls them away from God's Word. Time is swallowed up, gone. 

Where has my time gone? Granted, a lot of my time as a chronically ill person is swallowed up in survival. Yet, that time in doing what I call "survival tasks" could also be used as time with God, listening to sermons, encouraging materials or His Word, praying, and praising as I go about my tasks. But, I also see that my time is quickly and simply ... gone, wasted on trivial and temporal things.

As we focused on the rapture, my heart was challenged. Is what I am doing counting for eternity? I don't mean that you must spend 24/7 in the church building for this would also be wrong. For me, I am not even able to attend "church" as most of us think of church. Yet, my time can be spent on the eternal, laying up treasure in Heaven. I must seek God daily, moment by moment!

The Rapture could happen at any moment. Will I still be saying, "Where has the time gone?" Or will I be using it for Him? How about you? 

Tested by... Praise?

Tests. None of us like them. Yet, they are important for showing where we are right now and what is needed to take us to where we would like to be. 

My word for the year has been "joy." Slowly, I have been making my way through the Bible looking at passages on "joy," "praise," "rejoice," and "worship." I believe it is going to be a two-year study. 

For those of us with chronic illness, the winter can be even more isolating and challenging. Yet, we still can praise Him. 

Today, I came across a verse in my study that stopped me in my tracks. 

Proverbs 27:21, "The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and a man is tested by his praise."

My brain immediately began a comparison: 

• Crucible - Silver is changed in this intense heat and made into something new.
• Smelter - Purification of gold occurs at high heat in the smelter, separating it from its impurities.
• Praise - Praise tests a man. In the midst of trial or just every day life, will I praise? 
• Job 1:21
• Job 36:24
• Psalm 18:3
• Habakkuk 3:17-19 
• 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I stopped and pondered. How am I doing on my praise test? What will my praise test show throughout this coming winter?? 

How about you? What are your test results in the test of praise? 

Thanking God

November. It is a month of giving thanks. It seems as if it is so easy to forget how much we have to be grateful for. This can be especially true for those with chronic illness or those caring for ones with disability/chronic illness. The mundane tediousness of each day can overwhelm. The hard, day in and day out, quickly becomes a focal point. Medications, weather changes, isolation quickly pile up on us. 

For me, an illness flare has meant taking additional medications that quite frankly can mess with my outlook. I always dread these times. It makes everything look daunting and overwhelming. The medications are needed, but not fun. Moment by moment, I have had to remind myself to focus on God. I do not say that lightly. It is a constant struggle. Yet... God. He is bringing thankfulness in the midst. 

This month in our Home Connections Group, we have been focusing on an attribute of God each day, praising God for who He is and what He has done for us. One thing is standing out to me. God is... worthy, amazing, and awesome. Words fail.

Since November 1, we have looked at the following about God (using a list of praying the names of God as a guide):

• Jehovah: Exodus 3:13-15
• Jehovah-M'Kaddesh: Leviticus 20:7-8
• Infinite: Romans 11:33
• Omnipotent: Jeremiah 32:17, 18, 26, 27
• Good: Psalm 119:65-72
• Love: 1 John 4:7-10
• Jehovah-Jireh: Genesis 22:9-14
• Jehovah-Shalom: Judges 6:16-24
• Immutable: Psalm 102:25-28
• Transcendent: Psalm 113:4-5
• Just: Psalm 75:1-7
• Holy: Revelation 4:8-11

As I meditate on these attributes of God, who He is, and what He does, my perspective begins to change. Our God is able to handle all of the challenges of our days. He is trustworthy and worthy, a perfect, righteous, amazing God. Yes, I have to continue to shift my focus back to Him, but He is right there waiting to give aid and assistance as I think on Him and praise Him! 

I don't know what you are facing today, but I know our God. He is able and eager to help you. He is truly worthy of our praise even in the midst of life's trials!

Seasons...

Ecclesiastes 3

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:" The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

The past few weeks have been busy with family things. It has been wonderful and also required some recovery time as those of you with chronic illnesses understand. I have been soaking up all of the time carefully being outside and with family for I know winter is coming. 

You see, here in my "neck of the woods" the trees are showing glorious fall color. It is the time of year that God's paints such beauty all around us. On a recent family trip, I may have stated one too many times for my niece's preference, "OH, look at that gorgeous tree." 

Slowly, the trees are losing their leaves and color. My nieces and I were talking about it... each season has such beauty in it. One niece prefers the base trees that shine like diamonds with ice and snow as winter sets in. Her perspective truly touched me. Beauty in every season. 

I needed that reminder. Winter is coming. I have been reminded of God's beauty as well as at the coming winter. Winter, for me as for many with chronic illnesses, means isolation and being house-bound. Especially after gradually being able to get out a bit more this spring/summer/fall, I am honestly not looking forward to it. 

But... God reminded me that as I prepare for this new season of winter and what is ahead, He is in every season. He never changes even as the seasons do. He is ever faithful.

• Malachi 3:6
• Hebrews 13:8
• Isaiah 40:28

God is in each season. He never changes. As the song "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" states, "summer and winter, spring-time and harvest" He is faithful. As winter approaches, we can rest assured that He will walk through us in that season. 

No matter what season you are in right now in your life (and I don't mean the weather), God is in it. He is faithful. He does not change. Praise His Name!

I Do It Myself!

 "I do it myself". It is something that you hear often from toddlers. I remember so many times waiting (not so) patiently while a niece or nephew tried hard to do something that I knew was too hard for them. They worked on whatever it was breaking down in frustration, sometimes grunting, sometimes screaming, sometimes ending in a temper tantrum. Finally, they would either do it poorly and get frustrated or finally realize they need help. In the end, their strength and patience is spent. 

This week, my own weakness in life hit me. I realized that I can't do it. I can't thrive in the midst of fighting the daily battles and tedium that goes with chronic illnesses. The battle to survive is tough each day. Trying to live for Christ on top of that can seem to be too much. 

God graciously showed me something. I have been trying to live this Christian life in my own strength. I have been trying to "do it myself." I fail frequently. Yet, God has promised His power. In His strength, I can do it, but only through His strength. 

• Acts 6
• Romans 15:13
• 1 Corinthians 2:3-5, 12
• 2 Corinthians 3:4-18; 4:7; 6:4; 12:9-10
• Galatians 5:22-23
• Ephesians 1:17-21; 3:14-21
• Philippians 3:8-11
• Colossians 1:29
• 1 Peter 1:3

Many of you are in such difficult situations day in and day out. You don't have to "do it myself!" Cast your burden on Him!

• Psalm 55:22
• Matthew 11:28-30
• 1 Peter 5:7

As we face this week, let's do it in His power, not ours!

Isolation Side Effect: A Warrior in a Mighty Army

Chronic illness and warrior seem to be mutually exclusive terms. However, this is not the case from God's perspective. Picture this: Jesus leading an army into battle. Look closely at the soldiers. There is one over there on oxygen with an IV in a recliner at home. Another one is on crutches struggling to walk while another is in a wheelchair using a blow stick to move. Oh... look at that one. He has a mask on because exposure to other people would mean illness due to a compromised immune system. That warrior over there is covering her bald head due to chemo. The warrior there is in prison and using the time to pray and share Christ with others. Jesus looks back on them with love and joy. Others see weakness and outcasts. He sees power as they give what they have to Him. He sees His brothers, sisters, friends who are giving their all to Him. 

In I Samuel 16:7, the Bible tells how God looks at the heart, not the outward appearance. While this passage was talking about how God rejected a comely brother of David, it shows what God sees. God sees the heart. Even if we are isolated, always ill, and not handsome or beautiful, God sees our hearts. We can be used of Him.

The widow's mite and feeding of the 5,000 have always been two of my favorite stories. You see God took two people others may have looked down on and used them. The widow gave all she had. God used it. The child gave his small lunch and God multiplied it. 

What we have to give may not seem powerful, but God can use it. Isolation gives us one thing that others may not have - time to spending prayer with Him. Prayer is powerful. We can be His warriors in prayer. We can give what we have - prayer - to change the world for Him. There are so many verses on prayer. God can use your isolation as a blessing to make you a warrior in His Mighty Army!

This week, don't forget that God sees you as powerful in Him. He sees your heart. Will you use your "widow's mite" or "five loaves and two fish" for Him? Remember, "little is much when God is in it!"

Permanent Detours

Three years ago this week, my life took an unexpected and permanent detour. Aren't detours supposed to be temporary? 

For eleven months I had suffered one infection after another, sometimes two or three at one time all while nursing a year-long recovery from an ankle injury. As I left work for a doctor's appointment, I told my supervisor I would take work home with me to complete over the weekend.

God had other plans. God had a "permanent detour" in mind. Well, what I would consider a detour. For Him, it is a plan for my life.

An hour later I called my supervisor with the news. I was on medical leave for a minimum of four weeks, but a potential six weeks. My body needed rest, to heal. The doctors needed time to figure out what in the world was going on. 

Tests, tests, and more test followed. It became humorous as each appointment for test results ended with, "Well, that looks okay, but in doing that test we noticed another suspicious finding which needs to be tested." I wanted to tell them to STOP looking. Sigh...

At the end of four weeks, I was ready to go back to work but ended up in the ER with heart issues. No, I wouldn't be headed back to work. In fact, my doctor said that it was time to consider going on disability. Sigh. Another call to my supervisor to let her know that the six weeks was extending to eight, minimum. If you know my family, you know that we were brought up with a very strong work ethic. Rest is a four-letter word, you know. God was teaching some very important lessons. My worth is not determined by my job. It is in Christ!

Finally, we began to get some answers. They weren't what I was hoping for at all. Due to immune and significant allergy issues, I would not be able to work in an office or go in closed places with people or allergens (a growing list) again.   Even with completely changing my lifestyle and my church and work graciously making my own home more allergy-friendly, it has been a daily battle to regain as much health as I can. Three years later, we are finally seeing progress measured in inches instead of feet. 

I wish that I could say I took this all graciously as the apostle Paul did. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) However, I did not. Just six months after my own isolation began, the world went into isolation. Due to my immune system, it was basically solitary confinement that lasted longer than everyone else. I struggled significantly. 

My detour was painful. It's permanence was unfathomable. I longed to be released. God had other plans. My family and friends could not fulfill my needs. Only God could do that. Yes, they did all they could, but only God could meet my needs. 

And, He did.

In the midst of this, God carried me, molded me, walked with me and provided for me. The truth of Isaiah 55 has been evident. His thoughts and ways are higher than mine. Without this detour, I would not have seen His amazing hand. He allowed me to work from home, provided the home repairs, groceries as needed, and even... a vehicle with a scooter lift!

More importantly, looking back at this journey, He is drawing me closer to Himself. He is working! He has brought Bible studies that have touched my heart and encouraged me, studies on Elijah, joy, and victorious living through suffering. 

During this time, I saw this quote on pain. It is long, but powerful. I have copied it at the bottom of this post. God is in even this permanent, unexpected detour. He has a plan.

Dear friends who are also struggling with the daily reality of an unexpected detour that turned permanent, I wish I could remove your pain. I cannot. God may not. But, I do know that God will be with you and provide for you. (Philippians 4) God will turn this for good. 

We would love to come alongside and encourage you in whatever way we can. If you are interested in community, connection, from others who love God and understand, please check out Home Connections.

Pain Quote from Kimberly Henderson 

I would have pulled Joseph out. Out of that pit. Out of that prison. Out of that pain. And I would have cheated nations out of the one God would use to deliver them from famine.

I would have pulled David out. Out of Saul’s spear-throwing presence. Out of the caves he hid away in. Out of the pain of rejection. And I would have cheated Israel out of a God-hearted king.

I would have pulled Esther out. Out of being snatched from her only family. Out of being placed in a position she never asked for. Out of the path of a vicious, power-hungry foe. And I would have cheated a people out of the woman God would use to save their very lives.

And I would have pulled Jesus off. Off of the cross. Off of the road that led to suffering and pain. Off of the path that would mean nakedness and beatings, nails and thorns. And I would have cheated the entire world out of a Savior. Out of salvation. Out of an eternity filled with no more suffering and no more pain.

And oh friend. I want to pull you out. I want to change your path. I want to stop your pain. But right now I know I would be wrong. I would be out of line. I would be cheating you and cheating the world out of so much good. Because God knows. He knows the good this pain will produce.

He knows the beauty this hard will grow. He’s watching over you and keeping you even in the midst of this. And He’s promising you that you can trust Him. Even when it all feels like more than you can bear.

So instead of trying to pull you out, I’m lifting you up. I’m kneeling before the Father and I’m asking Him to give you strength. To give you hope. I’m asking Him to protect you and to move you when the time is right. I’m asking Him to help you stay prayerful and discerning. I’m asking Him how I can best love you and be a help to you. And I’m believing He’s going to use your life in powerful and beautiful ways. Ways that will leave your heart grateful and humbly thankful for this road you’ve been on.

© Kimberly D. Henderson, 2017