Ambassadors in Suffering

Sometimes, suffering feels like chains no matter the type of suffering it is.  

I was reading The Battle Plan by Stephen and Alex Kendrick this week. One paragraph really hit me as it was talking about Paul's ministry and prayer from prison (Ephesians 6:19-20). The book said, "To be locked up hand and foot, yet be bold enough to consider yourself free and ready to engage in whatever God has in store... that's NOT how normal people think. Unless we're people of prayer." It made me think of how sometimes the fibromyalgia/chronic illnesses "lock us up," but we can be bold enough to be free and ready to engage in God's plan! :) 

Another great resource which truly shows how to glorify Him and see His purpose in our suffering is Fibromyalgia: God's Grace for Chronic Pain Sufferers. The very suffering we endure is used greatly of God.

God will help us be ambassadors in suffering for Him. We can glorify Him!

A Heart Smile! :)

Sometimes, verses just make my heart say, "Wow" and smile! smile emoticonZephaniah 3:17 is one of those verses, a verse I needed to be reminded of this morning! smile emoticon :
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing." 
So many thoughts... 
He, the God and creator of the universe, is here. 
He is mighty to save, and He did,does,will. 
He rejoices over me (seriously, over me!?!?) with gladness.
He quiets me by His love (so important right now in the midst of long, challenging, exhausting days).
He quiets my heart!).
He exults over me (me?!) with loud singing. smile emoticon This one made me chuckle. When my heart overflows with joy and praise for HIM, my singing tends to ... ahem... get loud. To think that He exults over His creation in the same way...
I am loved! smile emoticon Selah! smile emoticon

Peanut Butter and God

This past week, I tried natural peanut butter again as I follow a new eating plan. I had forgotten how amazing natural peanut butter is without all the sugar and additives. It was pure peanut goodness. On this new eating plan, my body has begun to crave the good food as well as feel more satisfied. 

Then, I began to think about Psalm 34:8a, "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!..." When we "taste" the Lord and His Word, the distractions around us also dim in comparison. We also begin to be satisfied spiritually as well as desire more of His Word.

Consider Psalm 119  and Psalm 19:7-11.
7 "The law of the Lord is perfect,[a] 
    reviving the soul;
the testimony of the Lord is sure,
    making wise the simple;
8 the precepts of the Lord are right,
    rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the Lord is pure,
    enlightening the eyes;
9 the fear of the Lord is clean,
    enduring forever;
the rules[b] of the Lord are true,
    and righteous altogether.
10 More to be desired are they than gold,
    even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey
    and drippings of the honeycomb.
11 Moreover, by them is your servant warned;
    in keeping them there is great reward."

Even as my more healthy eating plan is helping me crave nutrition more as well as become stronger, seeking God and His Word is helping me crave Him more and grow closer to Him. 

Won't you join me and "taste and see that He is good"?

In His Hands

We tend to want to be in control of our lives. Sometimes, we believe that we are in control. My personality tends to lean toward wanting my life organized and orderly down to the smallest detail. My family graciously reminds me that this isn't always the way life is. 

This year, God has been teaching me flexibility and spontaneity. These lessons first came through the weakness, fatigue, and pain that overtook my life and schedule through the chronic illness. Planning was impossible as fatigue crashes could happen at any time and last for long periods of time.  Oh, how hard these lessons were. Yet, I began to give my days to God each morning and watched as He structured my day. He was teaching me priority with very limited resources. These lessons were precious.

Consider these verses.

Proverbs 16:9 "The heart of man plans his way,   but the Lord establishes his steps." (ESV)

Isaiah 55:8-9 "8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. "

Psalm 31:15a "My times are in your hand;..."

God, in His sovereignty and for His glory, allowed me to have my health back with a new treatment. It was His doing, not mine. He was in control. He is in control. He continues to teach me to leave my life in His hands. (He does a much better job of it than I ever could!")

My new condition has also been used of God to teach me that my life is in His hands. My health continues to improve daily. Yet, this condition means that my body will not handle acute illness or severe injury without quick medical intervention. It reminds me daily that my life is truly in God's hands. What a wonderful reminder!

His hand is a good place to be. He loves me.

Jeremiah 31:3 "3 The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."

John 3:16 "16 “For God so loved the world,[a] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

As I daily see that my times are in the hands of the one who loves me, I see that I also want to use it for his glory, to get to know Him and His Word, to love Him, and to serve Him. When He takes me home, I will see Him face to face. 

Philippians 1:21-23, "21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better." 

1 Corinthians 13:12 "12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known."

I submit to His will for my life. He is a wonderful Savior even when I don't understand all His ways! He loves me and holds me in His hands. That is sufficient!

New Every Morning!

In the first days of treatment, the difference in energy level was amazing. Each morning, I woke up and doubted the energy would still be there. Mentally, I prepared myself for another bout of fatigue, weakness, and pain. The strength was a pleasant surprise.

It made me think of the verses in Lamentations 3:22-24. My Lord is faithful every day and His mercy is new every morning!

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[a]

    his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

Gardening

I love to garden. There is just something about getting your hands in the soil, nurturing the plants, and watching them grow. It makes me feel closer to my Master Gardner. I don't always have a green thumb, but I love making the effort.

Spending time gardening this weekend made me once again think about our Master Gardener. He is described in John 15.

• My garden and lawn had been neglected for a long time due to my illness as my family and I kept up with basic needs. It is going to take more than a weekend or two to get it back to what it should be. It made me realize how sometimes I neglect my walk with God and just slide by with only what seems necessary. It takes spending quite a bit of time with the Master Gardner to get my life garden back in order!
• God sometimes has to prune my life in order to bring more fruit just as I had to prune bushes to allow them to bring more fruit. Sometimes this pruning hurts, but it is necessary to let His fruit show through and grow in our lives. 
• As we pulled weeds which were overtaking the garden, I mentioned to my young helper that although the weeds seemed pretty at first, they quickly were crowding out the good plants. Sin does the same thing. Weedkiller was needed to help completely eradicate the weeds. I could not get rid of all of them myself. Sin cannot be eradicated without Christ's blood and resurrection power. This blogpost has an interesting analogy of weeds and sin.
• Each plant in the garden and yard needed different types of gardening assistance. Some plants needed a bit more breathing room and had to be thinned out. Some had little life left in them and needed to be completely cut back. Some needed to have the weeds removed. Others needed to be pruned back to allow them to bear fruit. They are all at different stages, have different colors, different types of leaves, and different needs.
  Isn't that the same with us? We often wonder why God is doing something different in someone else's life or question the preferences (not doctrine or sin issues which do need to be addressed) in a brother or sister's life. It reminded me of my nieces and nephews. I hear "It's not fair." frequently. Couldn't the plants cry the same "Not fair" statement? I was convicted that sometimes I may cry "UNFAIR" to God not remembering that He knows best or question why He is the Master Gardener and knows what is best.

My garden brought me face to face with the garden of my life. How is your garden growing? Have you spent time with the Master Gardner recently?

Why Me?

Dear Father,

Why me?

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind, Father. The question "Why me?" comes to mind often as well as "Why now?" and "What for?"

Why me?

I never dreampt you would do this, Father! You gave me years of pain, weakness, and extreme fatigue. You showed me so much about Yourself. You showed me that You used weakness to show grace and strength. You taught me that my relationship with You is more important than anything that I can do. You showed me the answer to "Why me?" and showed me that it was not about me, but about You.

Why me?

The chronic illnesses are long and teach longsuffering and joy. The days of pushing through the pain and fatigue were overwhelming. Yet, You showed me that You are my Rock! You taught me to manage and ration my strength to serve where I could even when things looked bleak and too much! You showed me that in the illness was a way to glorify You when I couldn't with a whole body. You were teaching me to trust You no matter what.

Why me? Because it isn't about me, but about You! Oh, what a wondrous gift You gave me in these lessons.

Then, after my heart cried out to You for strength and wisdom, You answered in a completely unexpected way as a previously undiagnosed condition was found and treated giving me back near perfect health within two weeks. Again, my heart cried "Why me!"

Father, I know that so many of my friends are still hurting and in chronic illness. Why did you choose to heal me yet again? What do you have for me? Why now? Lord, as my body is transforming into health before my very eyes, Your name is being praised. You are being glorified. You are granting strength as it has been a whirlwind of learning that I don't have to ration every ounce of strength, but can depend on You. To be honest, Father, I was a bit embarrassed at all the attention the healing was causing until I realized that I had become a walking billboard for You and Your grace. You are showing me again that it is not about me, but about You!

Why me?

Father, I need You now more than ever as I learn to manage an illness that is managed with medication, but can be serious and life-threatening if not managed properly or in emergency situations. I need You to help me trust You with that illness and to realize that You are in charge of all my days. More than that, I need You to help me know how to live to glorify You every day. I need You to keep me from using this newfound strength for my selfishness instead of Your glory. I need You to show me "Why now?" and "What for?". Guide me, O Great Jehovah! :) Please, in good and bad, keep my eyes on You!

Why me? My life is Yours to do with as You wish whether that means health or illness. You paid the ultimate price for me.

The following song sums it up, Father.
"The Wonderful Cross" ~ By: Chris Tomlin

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride.

See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless Your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

Father, You love me enough to want a relationship, to have paid the penalty for my sin. I did not deserve this, but I thank You for Your precious gifts of salvation, suffering, and strength.

I love You, Father, Spirit, Son!
Your unworthy daughter,
Myrical Joy