Shoes, God's Provision Through the Years

UPDATE: I originally published this post in 2016. Today, I want to add an update as I was once again reminded about God's provision of shoes.

Fast-forward to December 2021

Think anyone will notice that my shoes are two different sizes? #AFOLife

A company called Orthofeet makes Biofit shoes for AFO's. They are very adjustable so that you can fit them to any brace as well as your non-braced foot. They are wonderful as you basically build-a-shoe when they come. After three years of fighting and fighting, I have been regaining some strength and able to move more. This is a huge praise but brought to light that my shoes needed an upgrade. The new shoes that fit didn't come in pink and aren't quite customizable enough for the right foot. When I see the two colors, I am reminded of God's provision and how far He has brought me.

And so, I will be setting a new trend. I mean my mask trend caught on. Maybe this will, too!

ORIGINAL POST From November 13, 2016

Shoes.

They seem to be the most basic of necessities, but how often do we take them for granted?

Shoes - reminders of God's provision.

God used shoes recently to remind me of His promise of provision for His children.

Philippians 4:19 English Standard Version (ESV)

19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Shoes - changing needs.

Due to positive changes in my condition, I was able to "graduate" to the next level of brace. My current shoes were rendered useless due to the shape of the new brace. If you know me at all, you know that Gertrude (my left leg who has a mind of her own due to my stroke) makes shoe shopping my least favorite shopping excursion. I am always grateful to have one pair of shoes that actually fit and work and don't completely break the bank. Two stores later, I was still empty-handed and praying for provision.

Psalm 46:10 English Standard Version (ESV)

10 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

It is interesting what memories simple everyday objects bring back. Memories flooded back as I worried about and prayed for shoes.

Shoes - providentially mismatched.

In the early years after the stroke, Dad and I would pray for shoes in two different sizes (left smaller than right) before going shoe shopping. God did not disappoint as time after time God provided a "pair" of shoes hooked together in my two sizes of shoes. Granted, at the time, I was not always impressed with the "granny shoe style," but God had provided for my needs.

Shoes - a family need.

During my fifth grade year, dad was in between churches and we lived on faith alone. Someway, a box of our shoes was lost in the move to live with my Grandma while Dad candidated at churches. God provided again as someone purchased our entire family a pair of shoes. This was no small gift as there are seven of us. God provided.

Shoes - err... braces.

When I was 11, Dad injured his leg and had to wear an AFO (ankle foot orthosis, or in English, an ankle/leg brace to help drop-foot). To date, I had not worn one and walked very poorly. On a whim, he tried his too big brace on my leg and asked me to walk across the floor. For the first time, I walked without tripping over Gertrude. Dad cried. We were able to get a brace for me and I no longer needed two different sized shoes. God had provided again!

Shoes - with wheels.

My next shoe memory is a that of rollerskates, specifically, my brother's large rollerskates. We only had money for one pair and I really wanted to rollerskate. Dad and Mom had finally given me permission to rollerskate and I couldn't wait to try. Socks stuffed in the toe of the rollerskates were just the ticket to make them work. They did work well until Gertrude didn't. Before I knew it, I was in a hospital bed with a crushed "good" leg. God provided for the many needs (including shoes) that arose throughout that ordeal and taught me much.

Shoes - a necessary evil.

Back to present day after our completely unsuccessful shoe shopping trip for these necessary "evils," my mom and youngest brother both mentioned Dad's shoes. Granted, they are size 10 and I wear size 7, but this new brace is a bit bulky. My brother was going that day and brought back some of Dad's shoes. They fit the brace. I may have done a happy dance; ahem, well my version of a happy dance. (Of course, we had to get a bit creative with the other foot, but at least Gertrude is happy! And if Gertrude is happy, I'm happy. ;) ) God had provided not one pair of shoes, but in the end five pair of shoes and a pair of boots from Dad's supply. I have never had so many pair of shoes that fit at one time. And... within moments of putting the correct size shoes on the new brace, my walk was stable, steady, and straight. Praise the Savior!

Shoes - ordinary miracles.

Through this ordinary need, God showed me His extra-ordinary love. I was reminded of His promise in Matthew 6.
Matthew 6:25-34 English Standard Version (ESV)Do Not Be Anxious

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Shoes.

Anxious about something? Next time you put on your shoes, remember that God has provided and will provide. There is no reason to be anxious. God provides for His children.

Behind the Mask

I stood in the hallway alone and isolated although surrounded by people. As people neared me, they crossed to the other side of the hallway and passed by (and I'm not even a Samaritan). I smiled as others approached me, but they ignored my smile and hurried on their way. The surgical mask I had to wear to protect a fragile immune system was hot and stuffy, but that discomfort was nothing compared to the isolation and loneliness I felt. Why couldn't people see behind my mask? Why couldn't they see my smile? I felt like a leper, unclean. Had I not been convinced that God wanted me at the conference through His amazing provision and prodding, I would have given up and left. It was God's grace that overcame my introversion and kept me from leaving.

Finally, a few brave people began to talk to me. They immediately asked one question, "Are you contagious?" Their question struck me as I realized they had been avoiding me out of fear. Having a strange sense of humor, I began to introduce myself by saying, "Hi, I'm Myrical, and I'm not contagious." Some chuckled at this introduction. (I should have written on the mask, "It's not me, it's you.") I laughed with them and soon was being included. I praised God for the breakthrough and His mercy to me.

As I began to think about it later, my mind went back to a different kind of mask that had isolated me from others. It was just four months earlier that my Dad was in his final hours. The emotional mask and smile I pasted on hid the pain we were going through. My family had been through seven months of one crisis following another and were completely worn out. It seemed easier to simply paste on a smile than to let people know of the pain and exhaustion. I hid behind that mask.

These experiences caused me to think about other masks that I pass every day. How many around me are hiding behind masks - both obvious and hidden? There are two videos on youtube which demonstrate the masks of those around us (here and here).

How should I respond? I turned to our greatest example. I was reminded of Jesus' reaction to the leper in Luke 5:12-13. Jesus touched him. "12 While he was in one of the cities, there came a man full of leprosy.[a]And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” 13 And Jesus[b] stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him." Jesus commands us to love others as He loves us. (John 15:12-13) Our love for others will show the world that we love God. (John 13:34-35) 

May my experience behind the masks help me see past masks and love as Christ did!

...And God Was There

January 7, 2016. 10:45 AM - Dad called to tell me he was diagnosed with terminal cancer that has quickly spread through his body.

Four months and a lifetime later...

May 23, 2016, 10:38 AM Dad passes into the arms of our loving Savior.

Many times during those four months, we thought it was our darkest hour yet God was there. We found that what seemed like the darkest hours were only grey hours and that life could and did get more difficult and challenging. God's Word, hymns, and the comfort of His Spirit became precious. God was there in the "darkest" hour and the progressively darker hours.

Psalm 23
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

It seems that I remember that journey in snapshots:

• receiving Dad's call that he would be seeing Jesus soon. His call collided with my work day. My world was rocked while the ordinary went on around me... and God was there. 
• walking beside dad in a hall as he struggled to walk with a walker and remembering the years he had walked with me when I was the one on a walker or in a wheelchair. It was a precious, painful sight... and God was there. 
• singing and playing piano with Dad for the last time. I must admit it took awhile after he graduated to Heaven to play again. And God came down and touched us while we played and sang. :) 
• observing the grief and anguish of my family, hurting with and for them. And God was there. 
• living through the hardest ten days of my life to date about two months after Dad was diagnosed. So many needs, so little sleep, so much pain... And God was there. 
• progressing through the "lasts" and striving to love well. And God was there. 
• learning how to caregive with grace when we were literally falling asleep standing up as well as asking forgiveness of those we loved dearest when we failed. And God was there. 
• transitioning to hospice and all the pain, laughter and tears of those final days. And God was there. 
• listening for every breath during the last three and a half days (a lifetime as we entered the time warp) he was home, during my last night watch, during that last morning as he met his Savior face to face. And God was there.
• experiencing for ourselves the incredible stress of losing a loved one. And God was there.  
• journeying through the next weeks of numbness and healing. And God was there. 
• and, finally, experiencing the firsts as we approach the holidays. And God is here. 

Isaiah 43:1-3
43 But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. 2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. 3 For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee.

God's presence meant that while cancer was ugly, this dark journey became beautiful in His light as His presence upheld us. Christ's love sustained us as we were having to make difficult decisions at our most stressed time. His love allowed us to love each other and show grace at a time when we could easily have become very angry with each other.

God's presence as we walked this journey. The Holy Spirit ministered to us through the Word and songs that came to mind. He is precious.

God's provision meant that I enjoyed my peanut butter manna (gluten free peanut butter sandwiches which were my main sustenance due to diet restrictions) and we enjoyed the treats people brought. We became increasingly grateful for things which we would normally take for granted, things like vegetables, fruit, and a hot meal.

God's family were amazing during this time as people rallied around us through prayer, letting us crash at their house, preparing meals, bringing vegetables, so many ways. They were literally His hands and feet to us through this difficult time.

God's timing was perfect. Early on my cousin who had lost her father a few years earlier told me that we would look back later and see His hand in all of this. She was right. We did see how what we saw as disasters at the time were actually part of His timing.

God's love, mercy, and grace have become so much more precious. It is true that the last eighteen months or so have been some of the hardest we have ever journeyed. We can be thankful for this time, however, as it has allowed us to experience God in more meaningful ways.

Now, I pray that as we have been comforted through it, we may go out and comfort others.

2 Corinthians 1:4English Standard Version (ESV)
4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

One Year

It has been said that a lot can happen in a day. This statement is true. Each day, God's mercy is new. Great is His faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:19-26

"19 Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.22 It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.

As far as I can remember, I have never had a year with so many changes and challenges. One year ago today I began treatment for a previously un-diagnosed condition. My life changed dramatically as my health improved. It was overwhelming to learn to manage the condition and the improvement in my health as well as new limits. (Who knew I wasn't superwoman even though much healed?)

22 It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

At the time, I never dreamed what would come. God knew. His faithfulness was there. His mercy new every morning! His timing is perfect. (Psalm 18:30) So many lessons were to come. It became a year of caregiving various family members including a family member with cancer who later passed away. It was my privilege to serve my family. My heart is full of gratitude that God gave me strength prior to the need. (Philippians 4:19) In the coming weeks, I hope to share some of the lessons that God taught me as we came through these trials. 

24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.
The Lord is my portion through all of this. He is my hope.

Romans 5:1-5, 
5 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

The Wilderness

A children's chorus says:

"My Lord knows the way through the wilderness,
All I have to do is follow.
My Lord knows the way through the wilderness,
All I have to do is follow.
Strength for today is mine all the way,
And all that I need for tomorrow.
My Lord knows the way through,
All I have to do is follow."

I was unable to find the author/composer, but found this recording which sounds a lot like a record I played as a child. The words keep reverberating through my heart as I do not know the way through my wilderness. I don't need to. I simply follow and trust that He will give strength and provision. 

This morning, I was reading in Numbers 33. Yes, Numbers. This chapter goes over the stages or seasons of the Israelites journey out of Egypt. It struck me today as they journeyed from place to place how WEARY they must be of moving, of always pulling up their tent pegs, of the dust, and of the mundaneness of it all. I thought about how it most likely wasn't their idea of what God was going to do to release them from slavery or how He was going to do it. They were told they were going to the Promised Land. They had everything they needed. God was growing them through this. And yet... it was... HARD.

Some of you know that my family is going through a wilderness right now as we journey with a close family member through the wilderness of terminal cancer. Our wilderness is hard. Our wilderness is long. Our hearts are breaking. The days seem weary and yet He cares. He is working through our wilderness! He will use this wilderness to draw us closer to Himself and to help us grow. Then, we will see the Promised Land someday! 

My Lord knows the way through the wilderness. All I have to do is follow. Strength for today is mine all the way, and all that I need for tomorrow. My Lord knows the way!