Isolation Side Effect: Strength

Strength as a side effect of isolation and weakness, really? Seriously?

This week, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 stood out in a new way to me.  

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Those of us with chronic illness or isolated for whatever reason often deal with daily weakness as well. Paul boasted in his weakness. Why? So the power of Christ would rest on him. 

He goes on to say that he is content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. Another version says that he takes pleasure in them. Stop. Read those paragraphs again. He is content or takes pleasure in all of these difficult things of life. 

I must admit that I do not enjoy weakness and the other things they mentioned. What a new perspective this gives as I go through each day. My weakness - Christ's strength. 

So, another side effect of isolation is strength. Christ's power residing in us. Selah.

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

 

Isolation Side Effect: OVERWHELMED

Overwhelmed. Completely overwhelmed. When you are chronically ill or isolated, what would be little things to others can be overwhelming to you. 

It is very, very easy to become overwhelmed. Some may have heard of the spoon metaphor. It is fairly accurate. We simply don't have as many spoons as others do to complete daily tasks. Let me give you a glimpse into that that means:

• Allowing four hours of the morning to get ready for the day. Repeat at night. 
• Taking two to three times that of a "normal" person to complete every single task throughout the day. Two examples from my own life at my worst point: taking five minutes to walk from one side of the house to the other and having 7 injured joints at one time.
• Knowing that just simple household chores for survival taking all your strength for the day.
• Having to plan out errands so as not to sap your strength or to have enough strength left to put groceries away. (For me, I have to take meds and nutrient-dense snacks every three hours through the entire day. It doesn't sound like much until you realize you have to do this every day no matter what else is going on.)
• Deciding what tasks will cause the least issues if skipped.
• Making food while struggling to use your hands or keep your balance. (Part of this is also deciding what convenience foods which cost more are worth the additional cost.
• Purchasing duplicates of items for various rooms since you cannot carry items from room to room.
• Learning how to ask for help while working hard to do all you can.
• Needing to plan ahead in detail for any activity.
• Calculating the cost of every item or small task to verify resources.
• Declining invitations you would love to accept because doing them will mean not being able to do regular tasks.
• And, the hardest one of all, understanding that people do not understand. I have heard more than one person with chronic illness or who is shut in say, "People just don't understand." No, they don't. It isn't because they don't want to, but that they can't. They can't understand how a simple activity can drain you. (The flip side is that I sometimes find myself thinking, "You can do all of that in one day? Wow... ") It is very easy to feel misunderstood or invisible when you are struggling daily to simply survive. 

The next day, you do it all again, over and over again, day in and day out. The reality of the overwhelming reality of living with the chronic illness means that we can get very frustrated and shut down easily. 

For those living it, I wish I had more answers or an easy solution. Sadly, I don't. It is also not just "throwing Bible verses" at the problem. Here are some little things that have helped me, both practically and emotionally/mentally/spiritually:

• Break tasks into smaller parts.
• If possible, don't let things pile up. 
• Do a little bit at a time. If you can only do five minutes of something, do five minutes.
• Put things away as you go, do dishes in small batches, do smaller loads of laundry.
• Watch your fatigue and catch it before it gets too bad. Catch everything early on if you can. 
• Lean into God. Call out to Him and share the feelings, the hard, and what you need.
• Focus on who God is and what He has done. These verses may help when you are overwhelmed:
• Psalm 61:1-8
• 1 John 4:4
• Matthew 19:26
• Psalm 46:10
• Matthew 11:28
• Jeremiah 31:25
• Psalm 94:22
• John 14:27
• Isaiah 26:3
• Psalm 55:22
• Philippians 4:6-7
• Pslam 50:15
• Ephesians 6:10
• 1 Corinthians 16:13
• Romans 8:37-38
• Psalm 136:1-2

For churches and friends reaching out, there is much you can do to help:

• Understand that they may react differently as they are overwhelmed.
• Listen, truly listen to needs and concerns. Sometimes, this will help more than anything else.
• Offer to help regularly with household chores, grocery trips, whatever may help in a specific situation. Give suggestions of ways you can help rather than simply saying, "Let me know if you need anything."
• Build relationship and connection in order to come alongside. 
• Continue to invite them to activities even if they have to decline often. Offer to help with daily tasks so that they can participate.
• Realize that sometimes they may be able to do a task while other days they cannot.
• Contact them with encouragement.

Life as an isolated/chronically ill person can be very overwhelming. What are some things that either you have found that have helped or that people have done for you that have been a help? We would love to hear!

Isolation Side Effect: Disappointment

Circumstances will be different for each of us in isolation depending on our illnesses and needs, but something we all face is disappointment.

If you know me personally, you know that I am a planner. My brain thinks in details and plans everything out. While I love spontaneity occasionally, I thrive in consistency day to day. Dependability is important to me, both in myself and others. With a chronic illness, dependability isn't possible. For me, even the best laid plans can be set aside, last minute due to someone having even a small sign of illness, non-lung-friendly weather, or just waking up to find out it is a chronic illness day. It doesn't matter if it is some fun activity planned with family or a ministry I wanted to participate in. Disappointment. Over and over again. Other people take these things for granted. We cannot.

Yet, chronic illness teaches you that in a new way and not only through changed plans. There is also the disappointment in others. Yes, I said that. It is easy to be disappointed in them when:

• they don't seem to understand what you are going through.
• they have to cancel on promised help at the last minute. 
• they are distracted.
• they forget about you when you are going through a hard time.
• they seem to have it all when you fight for every bit you have whether materially, physically, emotionally or whatever.

The list goes on. And, may I dare say, sometimes we are disappointed in God. Why? 

• Why doesn't He end this?
• Why doesn't He help?
• Why doesn't He hear my pleas?
• Why isn't He answering?

These times are hard. That is an understatement. How do we handle this? There are no easy answers. I must admit that I still struggle in this way. I have found that if I don't quickly handle isolation, my thoughts can take over and bitterness can quickly set in.

Here are some verses that can help shift our focus from the disappointment back to God. Please know that they are not given "glibly" or as an "easy fix." I still struggle and have to fight through these things often. Here are some Scriptures that have helped me in these times:

• Proverbs 16:9 
• Philippians 4
  
• Isaiah 55 Great promises and reminders!
  
• Hebrews 12:15
  
• Hebrews 13:15
  

I hope these will be a help. There are so many others that remind me that God is in control in control, that His thoughts are higher than mine, that I must look to God instead of people, and that I have to learn to be content. Disappointment of all forms is hard. We cannot fight it on our own, but need His help. 

What are some of the things you have done to remind you of His promises during disappointment? Churches, how can you reach out to assist isolated people with disappointment? We would love to hear your thoughts. Please share in the comments below.