Permanent Detours

Three years ago this week, my life took an unexpected and permanent detour. Aren't detours supposed to be temporary? 

For eleven months I had suffered one infection after another, sometimes two or three at one time all while nursing a year-long recovery from an ankle injury. As I left work for a doctor's appointment, I told my supervisor I would take work home with me to complete over the weekend.

God had other plans. God had a "permanent detour" in mind. Well, what I would consider a detour. For Him, it is a plan for my life.

An hour later I called my supervisor with the news. I was on medical leave for a minimum of four weeks, but a potential six weeks. My body needed rest, to heal. The doctors needed time to figure out what in the world was going on. 

Tests, tests, and more test followed. It became humorous as each appointment for test results ended with, "Well, that looks okay, but in doing that test we noticed another suspicious finding which needs to be tested." I wanted to tell them to STOP looking. Sigh...

At the end of four weeks, I was ready to go back to work but ended up in the ER with heart issues. No, I wouldn't be headed back to work. In fact, my doctor said that it was time to consider going on disability. Sigh. Another call to my supervisor to let her know that the six weeks was extending to eight, minimum. If you know my family, you know that we were brought up with a very strong work ethic. Rest is a four-letter word, you know. God was teaching some very important lessons. My worth is not determined by my job. It is in Christ!

Finally, we began to get some answers. They weren't what I was hoping for at all. Due to immune and significant allergy issues, I would not be able to work in an office or go in closed places with people or allergens (a growing list) again.   Even with completely changing my lifestyle and my church and work graciously making my own home more allergy-friendly, it has been a daily battle to regain as much health as I can. Three years later, we are finally seeing progress measured in inches instead of feet. 

I wish that I could say I took this all graciously as the apostle Paul did. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) However, I did not. Just six months after my own isolation began, the world went into isolation. Due to my immune system, it was basically solitary confinement that lasted longer than everyone else. I struggled significantly. 

My detour was painful. It's permanence was unfathomable. I longed to be released. God had other plans. My family and friends could not fulfill my needs. Only God could do that. Yes, they did all they could, but only God could meet my needs. 

And, He did.

In the midst of this, God carried me, molded me, walked with me and provided for me. The truth of Isaiah 55 has been evident. His thoughts and ways are higher than mine. Without this detour, I would not have seen His amazing hand. He allowed me to work from home, provided the home repairs, groceries as needed, and even... a vehicle with a scooter lift!

More importantly, looking back at this journey, He is drawing me closer to Himself. He is working! He has brought Bible studies that have touched my heart and encouraged me, studies on Elijah, joy, and victorious living through suffering. 

During this time, I saw this quote on pain. It is long, but powerful. I have copied it at the bottom of this post. God is in even this permanent, unexpected detour. He has a plan.

Dear friends who are also struggling with the daily reality of an unexpected detour that turned permanent, I wish I could remove your pain. I cannot. God may not. But, I do know that God will be with you and provide for you. (Philippians 4) God will turn this for good. 

We would love to come alongside and encourage you in whatever way we can. If you are interested in community, connection, from others who love God and understand, please check out Home Connections.

Pain Quote from Kimberly Henderson 

I would have pulled Joseph out. Out of that pit. Out of that prison. Out of that pain. And I would have cheated nations out of the one God would use to deliver them from famine.

I would have pulled David out. Out of Saul’s spear-throwing presence. Out of the caves he hid away in. Out of the pain of rejection. And I would have cheated Israel out of a God-hearted king.

I would have pulled Esther out. Out of being snatched from her only family. Out of being placed in a position she never asked for. Out of the path of a vicious, power-hungry foe. And I would have cheated a people out of the woman God would use to save their very lives.

And I would have pulled Jesus off. Off of the cross. Off of the road that led to suffering and pain. Off of the path that would mean nakedness and beatings, nails and thorns. And I would have cheated the entire world out of a Savior. Out of salvation. Out of an eternity filled with no more suffering and no more pain.

And oh friend. I want to pull you out. I want to change your path. I want to stop your pain. But right now I know I would be wrong. I would be out of line. I would be cheating you and cheating the world out of so much good. Because God knows. He knows the good this pain will produce.

He knows the beauty this hard will grow. He’s watching over you and keeping you even in the midst of this. And He’s promising you that you can trust Him. Even when it all feels like more than you can bear.

So instead of trying to pull you out, I’m lifting you up. I’m kneeling before the Father and I’m asking Him to give you strength. To give you hope. I’m asking Him to protect you and to move you when the time is right. I’m asking Him to help you stay prayerful and discerning. I’m asking Him how I can best love you and be a help to you. And I’m believing He’s going to use your life in powerful and beautiful ways. Ways that will leave your heart grateful and humbly thankful for this road you’ve been on.

© Kimberly D. Henderson, 2017