For Such A Time As This

The phrase of Esther 4:14, "... for such a time as this..." kept running through my mind and heart the past couple weeks. It seemed as if my heart was overwhelmed by all the need that I saw around me - broken people, needy people, and people in bondage. 

"...come to the kingdom for such a time as this..." Lord, what do you mean? What are you trying to tell me? 

The need continued. Requests for help came from our pastor; yet, I had to decline due to my own physical weakness at the moment. 

"...for such a time as this..."

My heart bled wanting to do more for the need, but quite frankly, simply getting through work daily is taking all my energy. We are on overtime for weeks, long days, and weekends. I felt helpless as I battle the treatment effects, poor breathing, stumbling, falling, fatigue and insomnia which will last for months. What could I do? Yet, my heart was aching at a time when I am too weak to do much at all, when every day is a struggle simply to do basic responsibilities, when I myself have had to ask for help. In desperation, I continued to wonder what God was trying to tell me and asked for His wisdom.

"...for such a time as this..."

Then, it hit me. God has called me to this "kingdom" of struggle, pain, and weakness to pray fervently. God works through prayer. God took Esther away from her family to a strange place. Her kingdom meant saying no to her own desires and giving her life for God's will. In different ways, my weakness is putting me in the same place - a place of isolation, loneliness, exhaustion, and pain. 

Quite frankly, I cannot do this. Isn't that cool! I am being forced to rely on God's strength, companionship, and power. I am being given a rare gift of time to spend with Him, study His Word, and time to pray (by the time I am home from work I am too worn out to do anything, yet can't sleep).

It hit me that he has called me to this prolonged season or weakness, this kingdom, to grow, learn, and pray. 

"...for such a time as this..." How often have I wanted more time to pray? He is providing that time. 

Yes, this kingdom is difficult, yet God uses affliction to draw us to Himself and purify us. This kingdom is also a calling, a blessing.

What is your kingdom? What has God brought you to "...for such a time as this..."?